I played a lot of golf growing up but have always found it excruciating to watch. The most interest I ever had in watching professional golfers was when the Irish Open was held in my native Co Louth in 2009. Ten-year-old me was excited to get autographs from Rory McIlroy, and spot politicians like then-taoiseach Brian Cowen, but ultimately it involved a lot of patience — and no celeb from the telly could change that core trait of the game.

The same thing unfolds in Full Swing, a new series from Netflix. And it turns out that no matter how it’s dressed up, golf — even after it’s Netflixified — is a drag.

The programme-makers are out to change golf’s reputation as a somewhat dull spectator sport. This eight-part docuseries from the team behind the highly-successful Drive to Survive has set its sights on bringing a new generation of fans to the sport, much like its predecessor achieved with Formula 1.

The show humanises these stars with locker room banter and depicts a fraternity between rivals rarely seen on the course — often flanked by crowds of white Floridian pensioners with tucked-in Ralph Lauren shirts and baseball caps.

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Although the backroom chats may be rewarding for fans, I can’t help feeling I didn’t come here to watch another man tediously analyse his swing.

To add some much-needed drama to the show, enter LIV Golf.

“The game has never been more controversial than it is this year,” a voiceover says in the opening moments of the show.

The series began filming during the 2022 season amid the emergence of the Saudi-backed golf league last June, offsetting the axis of the PGA from which all else has hitherto rotated. LIV Golf has poached some of the game’s top players from establishment tournaments, who have come under intense pressure amid criticisms of Saudi Arabia’s human rights record.

The show introduces the league through the story of colourful English golfer Ian Poulter, an ageing star whose victories are slipping further into the past than he’d like.

“Supposedly LIV is offering Ian Poulter tens of millions of dollars,” a journalist says. “Ian Poulter over his 20-year career has made about $33 million. Now at the tail end of his career, he’s being offered millions and millions just to show up [to LIV events].”

After missing the cut in the PGA Championship by one stroke, he jets away in his private aircraft, later saying: “You’re there [at a competition] for five days, [then] packing your bags and leaving without getting a cheque, so working for free doesn’t float my boat.”

He is asked straight-up by the crew if he is going to join LIV — a question he fumbles, before saying: “It’s a business decision, it’s an opportunity, so we’ll see”, before turning to look and smirk wryly at the camera. “People ask all the time, don’t you have enough already? But that’s all relative.”

All empathy evaporates when at LIV Golf’s opening event in England last June, shots of Poulter and other pros who jumped ship are soundtracked by Big ol’ bag of money. Props to the editors for their song choice on this one.

Although the show is certainly pro-PGA Tour, it tries to elicit sympathy for Poulter after he is effectively banished from the tour. Sorry, I won’t be shedding a tear for his pay cheques.

Given Full Swing’s episodes are only loosely connected, I jumped ahead to the final episode of the season to catch a glimpse of our very own McIlroy. “The most influential guy in the sport after Tiger [Woods],” according to Rickie Fowler.

The show chronicles his rise to the top of golf from a young age, winning four Majors in the early 2010s and suffering a “drought” of victories thereafter, setting up a comeback story you can’t help but root for. And McIlroy’s dedication to the sport is admirable, leading the pack condemning LIV Golf.

Although long-time fans of the sport will enjoy the show, it’s a bogey for me. At the bones of it, Full Swing is just the story of rich men and little balls. Netflix has managed in the past to make even football bureaucracy amusing, but golf has proved too utterly boring.

Its redeeming moments are the stories of the players, people whose mental health appears to be disturbingly closely linked to their professional success. But having seen their lavish lifestyles, I’ll hold back my tears for now.

• Full Swing is streaming now on Netflix