“Max. Agent. Make me rich. Thanks a lot.”
And with that you might as well have clicked the off button on the remote, the sporting weekend – year? – couldn't possibly get any better than Li Na's speech after winning the Australian Open. Mind you, #AskTed came close, leaving you with a dream that one day Li and the Walsh man would team up for a live joint Twitter Q&A (#AskLiAndTed) because it would be entertainment of Grand Slam proportions.
Li’s tribute to her husband was also epically excellent – “Thanks a lot, you’re a nice guy . . . also, you’re so lucky to find me” – a warmer tribute, it has to be said, than the one paid by Ted to Sure Reef, a winner at Leopardstown yesterday:
“Big plain-ish horse. Certainly wouldn’t win any fashion races. For his looks any way. He’s not attractive. Now, there’s nothing wrong with him, everything is in the right place, great set of legs on him, grand big body, but just a big plain-ish kind of a horse.”
Please let Ted be a Mr Universe judge some day.
And what of Hurricane Fly, the star of the show yesterday?
“He’s a mean little son of a gun, he’d take the snot off you in a minute.” And Ted told us this while we watched people reach out to pat him – Hurricane Fly, not Ted – in the winner’s enclosure, leaving you fearing for the safety of their, well, snots.
Back in Australia, Li Na had proved there's life beyond 30 by becoming the oldest winner of the Australian Open, completing what was a mighty fine tournament.
If you exclude Rafa Nadal’s defeat. Whoever booed him when his body began disintegrating should be force-fed cabbage for a year.
The highlight later in the day was, undoubtedly, Ted engaging with Twitter, and "Ted engaging with Twitter" is just not a line you ever imagined being typed.
Queries poured in
So, Robert Hall invited viewers to #AskTed any question they had on their minds, presumably of the horse-related kind, and the queries poured in – eg:
“How’s Craggy Island this time of year? #AskTed”; “Are they small or far away? #AskTed”; “Ted, do you prefer brown or red sauce on a bacon sandwich? #AskTed”.
Robert, sadly, didn’t put any of those questions to Ted, but he did ask this one: “Did you ever think Dougal could have become parish priest with a bit more commitment? #AskTed”
“I think he could have been yeah, a good parish priest he would have made,” said Ted, while Robert nigh on combusted with laughter.
Mind you, one of the questions that appeared on the tweeting machine was puzzling: “We understand that energy costs can be expensive #AskTed for advice on how to save on energy bills.”
Mystery solved: #AskTed was a hashtag already used by The Energy Desk’, “the enthusiastic ideas company full of bright sparks who can help make your energy consumption low and cost efficient”.
So, when they find “Did you ever think Dougal could have become parish priest with a bit more commitment?” in their #AskTed timeline, they’re going to be mightily confused. If they’re game, they’ll reply: “Maybe, but he wasn’t exactly a bright spark.”
Back to the real #AskTed. "At what stage did you know Ruby was going to be a better jockey than you?"
Riding a rocking horse
"That wouldn't have been hard for him . . . when he was riding a rocking horse there inside in the kitchen."
You'd imagine Davy Russell rode a mean rocking horse in his youth too, a suspension on Saturday freeing the jockey up to join the RTÉ commentary team. And answer #AskDavy questions. They went Twitter mad, the RTÉ horsie people.
Question from Julie Reilly: "Will you marry me? #AskDavy"
Davy: “Good girl, Julie. Has she got much land? And has she got much road frontage?”
Julie. Road frontage. Make me rich. Thanks a lot. #Sorted.
