Caddie's Role:I am probably guilty of going on ad nauseam about the caddie's lot and how it has improved of late. If you will forgive me one last rave about my lodgings last week in the Emirate of Abu Dhabi then that should take care of my "elevation of status" slant for this year.
I just have to tell you about it, you see I ended up staying in a palace for the week of the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship. Not having ever stayed in a palace before I was quite excited. It was only at the end of my flight to the Middle East when my fellow passenger asked me where I was staying and I replied the Emirates Palace. He showed me a picture of it in a travel brochure and then I realised my accommodation was going to be something special.
We charged through the streets of the city at high midnight speed from the airport and headed towards this building that befits its name. Softly illuminated and framed by gushing fountains the palace took up the entire vista before me. If you could imagine the size of Buckingham Palace and multiply it by four you can picture what filled my view.
The brown coloured marble and granite edifice is protected by five-metre high railings which surround the circumference of the palace grounds, covering about five kilometres, the natural protection of the Persian Gulf on the north side of the building breaks the monotony of the fencing.
The hotel boasts a beach of over one kilometre in length. There is an arch at the main entrance, very similar to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. This is the entrance for Sheiks and nobody gets through these gates otherwise. I know because I tried on foot. I was politely refused access. Despite its lack of use the arch is a marvel to look at especially at night. Its columns and dome change colour every five seconds or so. The change is so subtle you need to observe it closely to realise that the blue you saw had changed about 10 times before finally metamorphosing into a completely different colour.
The palace was designed, apart from paying guests, to host the Sheiks from the seven different Emirates that make up the United Arab Emirates. There are seven separate suites kept just in case one of His Eminences needs somewhere to shack up for the night. A parade takes the royals right under the arch and straight up to the royal entrance.
The rest of us battle on with the common reception area which is so discreet you would be hard pressed to figure out you were in a hotel at all. The receptionist escorts you to your room. Which is a good thing because the chances are you would never find your lodgings unattended. My room was not the furthest from the reception area and without waiting for gold-plated lifts to arrive it was a good five minute caddie pace walk.
You do all your paper work in the room at your desk. Check in completed you get to savour the elegance and sophistication of the standard room. It is palatial but modern. The 50-inch plasma screen is pretty obvious. The dome and soft lighting as you step inside the door is a unique touch. The chalice-like bowl of fruit which is replenished daily is welcome. The vase of freshly cut flowers is almost to be expected. The interesting modern Arabic art enhances a feel for the area. The rose petals tossed seemingly idly on the bath mat and bedside mat break the order of the decoration. The whole room just reeks of class and elegance without a hint of gaudiness.
The bed-head, which is built into the wall, is ornate and stylish, the table lamps and even the cushions are of a standard I have never witnessed in a hotel before. I realised the next day why the Emirates Palace has seven stars attached to it. When I enquired about the laundry service the courteous lady on the end of the line informed me she would send the butler down to the room. A minute later a suitably deferential butler stood adroitly at my door in winged collar and tails.
He was a real butler. I felt if I dropped something in my room and didn't feel like bending down to pick it up he would consider it quite acceptable that I should demand he come to recover it.
Gold or soft yellow is the colour of the palace. The ceilings had a golf-leaf finish, the chairs were golden, the mirrors, tables, any form of decoration was finished with a tasteful golden hew. The door handles (not like any handles I had ever opened a door with before) were of a golden brass with what looked like diamonds on them. The floors were marble, the carpets the finest of silk and cashmere. Even the forecourt was covered in marble. I tapped the ubiquitous massive plant urns expecting them to be plastic. Disappointed to admit they were solid. This place doesn't do plastic.
Despite its vastness and probably unfamiliar atmosphere it seems appropriate and by the end of my week there I felt like they had captured the sense of space and isolation. After all we were staying in a palace and I would imagine they are fairly lonely places to be most of the time.
The tournament had supplied rooms to all the competitors of the Abu Dhabi Championship and a few chosen caddies. This is the first time I have heard of a full tournament offering free rooms to all contestants. If it has happened before, certainly never in such a regal atmosphere.
Ongoing exploration both on and off shore in Abu Dhabi has so far identified 10 per cent of the world's crude oil reserves. The rulers have spilt quite a drop of their crude wealth into the Emirates Palace where no expense is spared and yet there is no sign of vulgarity anywhere.