Rest day is amusingly lost in translation

A trip to a Brazilian press conference looks a promising gig until the realisation there is no interpreter present, writes EMMET…

A trip to a Brazilian press conference looks a promising gig until the realisation there is no interpreter present, writes EMMET MALONE

THERE WAS something of a difference of opinion between the sports editor and a giant wallchart hanging in my Johannesburg apartment yesterday, with the latter strongly suggesting that Wednesday the 30th was a “rest day”, while the former was equally insistent that this had to be some sort of error at the printers.

There was only ever going to be one winner and so, with no games scheduled, I hauled myself off to a Brazilian press conference at the Randpark Golf Club where some 200 journalists and 40-odd camera crews gathered for the latest round in the manager versus media feud that looks increasingly like ending badly for the press corps.

It was a pleasant enough setting for a scrap: around 120 hectares of rolling parkland in the northwest suburbs of Johannesburg where the names and the pictures of club presidents past conveyed a firm sense of a whites-only environment that you might imagine would be unacceptable now were it not for the fact the gathering of “lady” members on the terrace suggested not that much has changed.

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The press conference was nearly half an hour late getting started, with some of those sitting around me suggesting this was the latest sideswipe towards the media by a disrespectful manager.

But when things finally got under way it turned out that Dunga hadn’t dropped by at all, with the coach opting instead to send the team’s doctor, Jose Luis Runco, to join Juan and Elano on the platform.

As the three men arrived it was only possible to tell reporters and photographers apart by the quality of their cameras. It appeared everyone was taking pictures and there were times during the 38 minutes that followed when some of what was said from the top table was inaudible because of the noise from so many shutters and camera motors.

Still, from my perspective it looked a decent line-up with plenty of potential for a story of some sort until I realised that the Brazilian Federation had omitted to lay on any translation facilities.

So, like many of my colleagues, I settled in for a lengthy QA, not one word of which I would understand until an old friend from Dublin, now working for a major European press agency, promised he would sort me out afterwards with a translation made from Portuguese to English via Spanish and German, the last leg of which he would complete.

So, the pressure was off although any factual information carried towards the end of this report should probably be verified by some independent source.

In Dunga’s absence, the tone was decidedly friendly with Elano and the remarkably chatty doctor pressed about the injury that has sidelined him for the last couple of games and threatens to keep the midfielder out for the remainder of the tournament, but never aggressively.

Beside me a television reporter asked what may well have been the longest question ever asked of any professional footballer anywhere. But far from nodding off, Elano listened, bright, smiling and attentive.

I was hopeful he would respond with a simple “yes” or “no” which would have added to the comedy, but instead the 29-year-old replied at length, the sort of length, in fact, that I suspect only Richard Dunne, amongst the current Irish squad, has ever managed and that only when he’s keen to get something off his chest about a club he has just left.

At one stage I could have sworn I heard some mention of Robbie Keane in a question and I spent a few minutes wondering what the context could have been: would the Irish striker be the perfect replacement for Kaka in the final if the Brazilian doesn’t stop getting himself booked? Will the Dubliner really return to Tottenham? Could Claudine ever be happy in Glasgow?

Eventually, an American, speaking in English two rows in front of me, asked about the ongoing criticism of the team’s style.

The federation’s media officer, a sort of Will Ferrell look-alike called Rofrigo Paiva, translated the question into Portuguese for the players and in anticipation of him doing the reverse with their answers, I quickly tooled up with notebook and pen.

However, my hopes were dashed as I was forced to sink back into my seat at the sight of him wandering down the aisle to whisper an account of the replies into the reporter’s ear while the proceedings continued around them.

Eventually, Elano and Runco departed leaving Juan to field further questions in an increasingly jocular atmosphere.

I was laughing along myself after a while in spite of the fact the only way I was going to have the remotest chance of understanding anything was if somebody asked the way to the nearest train station; a question I briefly mastered after listening to one of those teach-yourself discs somebody sent me during the build-up to Euro 2004.

Nobody did but it subsequently turned out that Elano, having still been in pain while training, had an X-ray on Sunday – a full week after picking up his injury against the Ivory Coast – which revealed bruising to the bone that rules him out of tomorrow’s game Paraguay and may yet bring a premature end to his World Cup.

Julio Baptista and Felipe Melo, meanwhile, trained yesterday having recovered well from the knocks picked up against the Portuguese and the latter may well be in contention to reclaim his starting spot in the event that he avoids any setbacks between now and kick-off time tomorrow afternoon.

For his part, Juan insisted the criticism of the Brazilian manager and his tactics are unjustified with the defender arguing that no team at this tournament has played the sort of “uncontrolled attacking football” that might leave them open at the back.

That, it seems, was the good stuff.

My wall chart, I see, says “rest day” beside July 1st as well.

I may have to call in the lawyers.