There are some deep mysteries in the game of rugby. For example, in other sports, numbering the team lists would seem pretty straightforward. With 23 players in a rugby squad, logic says, you would start at number 1 and list every player until number 23.
Oh no. Not in rugby.
Team lists in rugby defy all mathematical logic.
When we name a rugby team we start with the number 15, not 1.
We then count backwards from 15, listing the backs, stopping at number 9. After number 9, for reasons known only unto the giant minds that establishing such a fabulously complicated system, we then list the loosehead prop, number 1. We then ascend in our counting from 1 to 8 (remember in the backs the numbering descended . . . stay with me here.) After number 8, we then jump to number 16. If I am not mistaken that is the number after 15, which is the number we started with. We then, once again, ascend in our counting to number 23.
So, in rugby team lists, the number 15 is at the beginning, number 1 is in the middle, until we get to number 8 and we then jump to number 16 and finish with number 23. In the middle of all that we twice ascend and descend in our counting.
Quadratic equations are simpler.
I can’t begin to tell you how much that does my head in.
Further battering
Rugbys mathematical credentials took a further battering this week.
I was chatting with a French friend regarding the Pro 14 matches. He was reading the wonderful French rugby newspaper, Midi Olympique.
He was searching through the pages. I asked him what he was looking for? “I can find only two quarterfinal matches. Who is playing in the other quarterfinals?”
I told him in the Pro 14 there are only two quarter-finals for some baffling reason.
The expression on his face was identical to that you give a much loved young nephew, just after he has said something really stupid.
“My friend, how can you have two quarter-finals? To have quarter-finals you need eight teams and four games.”
I was in France so I shrugged and made a pursing shape with my mouth, trying to say, "It's a Celtic thing."
He was having none of it.
The French and English clubs highly value their respective domestic competitions
“These are preliminary finals or qualifying playoff matches or money raising ventures, call them what you want, but you cannot call them quarter-finals as there are only two games with four teams. You need eight teams and four matches for quarter-finals!”
This weekend’s Pro 14 quarter-finals are like quantum physics, we comprehend its existence, but normal people just can’t figure out the maths.
The Pro 14 is a fantastic competition that has powered the development of Irish rugby to a much greater degree than the majority of supporters appreciate, but it is things like this that diminish the value of the Pro 14 in the eyes of many in rugby.
The “Mickey Mouse” decision to call this weekend’s games quarter-finals is unprofessional and devalues the entire competition.
What a shame.
I share in the unique relationship the Heineken Cup has with Irish rugby, but we must also acknowledge that the 20-year journey – from the Celtic league to today's Pro 14 – has mirrored the growth of Irish rugby. Without our domestic competition, Irish rugby would not be as strong as it is today. Ireland has massively benefited from the Pro 14.
The French and English clubs highly value their respective domestic competitions.
I have had multiple conversations with French internationals who have told me they value holding the Bouclier de Brennus, the trophy for winning the Top 14, more than they value winning the World Cup.
I never understood quantum physics anyway
Twenty years ago the advent of professionalism threatened to wipe out rugby in the Celtic countries below the international level. So the Celtic League, now the Pro 14, was forged out of nothing. Today the Pro 14 spans two continents and five countries. That is astonishing growth and world class organisational vision.
What makes all this even more frustrating is that this weekend’s matches are exciting. The achievement of Benetton in reaching the playoffs must be celebrated.
Their coach, Kieran Crowley, has done an exceptional job. Benetton are playing entertaining and winning rugby. Munster at home is a formidable task for any team but Benetton have won in Dublin and they will test Munster much more than many in Ireland understand.
If Munster win, the prize is the opportunity for redemption. A tired Leinster await in Dublin. That is a hope that burns bright in the bellies of the Munster players. Just don't forget to beat Benetton on the way.
Andy Friend and Dan McFarland are to be congratulated for the way their Connacht and Ulster teams have significantly improved this season. Both sets of players are playing with pride in their jersey, belief in their team and smiles back on their faces. That was not the case last season.
A full house of the faithful at Ravenhill is the stage for what should be a close and entertaining game.
All of that is something to get excited about.
I am going to ignore the mathematical impossibility of having four teams and two games in our great competition’s “quarterfinals’.’ I never understood quantum physics anyway.
It proves when you love rugby, all logic goes out the window.
