HOLD THE BACK PAGE: IT'S THAT time of year again. Deep Heat slyly applied to jock straps; bench-pressing heavier loads than a Mini Cooper; acne, stories of creatine; unregulated protein shakes; and the emotional blitzkrieg of the schools' senior cup in rugby.

The competition format, one that bemuses so many who arrive to Ireland from the Southern Hemisphere to play or coach professionally, is charted to do its best again as heavyweights Belvedere College and Blackrock College meet in Leinster on Sunday, January 31st. Certain to cast one of the “big schools” into a two-term wilderness (if only we’d had a decent kicker against ’Rock/Belvo!) if they lose, the flow of tears and salty regret after a first-round defeat is equalled only by the mismatches that we are about to witness in the early rounds.

There was a time in this newspaper’s past that mountainous scores were not printed for fear of the mental stability of the country’s elite, many of whom in their doddery years, will value a winning medal or even an SCT jersey as the biggest and brightest bauble in a collection of one. For defeat in the senior cup is harder to take than the parents committing the first born to seven years as a border.

Another writer in this sports section drew a rugby fatwa upon his head for referring to a school, who have not in memory won the cup, as the “whipping boys” of the competition. That sort of comment doesn’t instil high self-esteem and encouraged letters of regret on headed note paper.

The impression is schools rugby enjoys media coverage but not serious scrutiny; it requires attention but little hard analysis, it revels in school names blazed across the top of sports pages and the television screen but little investigation into issues like the alleged poaching that goes on between some schools for the pick of the players, or intense, over-the-top preparation.

It sticks to a system whereby the biggest and brightest athletes get one shot at glory in a season in a win or bust, no room for errors campaign. Belvedere or Blackrock will soon know the frustration of defeat there. But some of the better players, who end up in the provincial academies and clubs, won’t have long to wait before a different attitude supplants the dated, if popular schools format.

The All-Ireland League, Magners League and Heineken Cup have all left school behind, with the biggest tournament in Europe knowing the value of pool systems or league systems with knock-out phases attached, with the possibility the weak teams as much as the strong are afforded more than one chance to experience the fruits of long hours on the paddock and gym. Even the whipping boys might occasionally turn up a satisfying result.

Heaven knows, in 40 years’ time when the tie is yanked from the waistband and a bottle of Tawny Port is opened after dinner, those who fell short of the professional game and played modest roles at club level, or, fell away and have only their faded schools career to consider, might be able to talk of more than one meaningful SCT match in the year they graduated to university.

Sport increasingly in sights of terrorists

IF YOU believe the war on terror is narrowly defined and a problem for the US and Britain, you may also believe that the moon is cheese and that George Hook is an alien.

With the lethal gun attack on the Togo football team this week, sporting life is becoming less indistinguishable from the political world. The World Cup finals this summer in South Africa are a primary concern (although the 1991 rugby World Cup in Britain and Ireland wasn't an issue when ETA was placing bombs in Spain).

But even smaller sports with global spreads are engaging in complex security operations for the first time.

At the 1990 hockey World Cup finals in Lahore, Pakistan, we witnessed the immediate aftermath of an attempted kidnap of a female German journalist just outside the Gaddafi Stadium, where the tournament was being held. That three slight men tried to bundle a six-foot woman into what appeared to be a Mini car seemed darkly absurd, almost comical at the time. She successfully resisted. Despite being shaken and terrified to be alone for the rest of the tournament, there wasn't much fuss made.

Next month the hockey World Cup will take place in New Delhi, India, in the 23,000-seat Dhyan Chand Stadium, which is close to the iconic India Gate national monument.

Officials from English hockey (Ireland did not qualify) have received a full briefing from the governing body, the FIH, while David Faulkner, the team's performance director and former British Olympic medallist travelled to India in October with senior officers from the Metropolitan Police to conduct a full reconnaissance. The FIH has also agreed to accredit several officers from London, who will accompany the team at all times. It has not been said if they will be armed.

It appears the England hockey team are actually the security guinea pigs for the bigger Commonwealth Games that take place in India in October. Thirty years on and respect for westerners appears, in extreme quarters, even less than what the unfortunate German journalist experienced. The moon is a planet and George Hook is no alien.

Golf must learn to call it as it is

TIGER WOODS may call a foul on himself on the golf course that no one else could possibly have seen him make then veer well out of bounds in the cocktail lounge without considering the irony or conflict of the truths and deceptions. Making things appear just so has been professional golf’s speciality, particularly since the tour started random drug testing in July 2008.

Remarkably since then just one player, a journeyman called Doug Barron, has fallen foul of the testing. The 40-year-old, who lost his card three years ago, became the first player to be suspended by the PGA Tour in November for having bad juice in his system.

The game, which lives and dies by arcane rules that players often self-regulate and which puts the idea of fair play on to a higher plane than most other sports, announces suspensions but does not disclose what substance a player has used.

The tour has stated clearly the player, who has been suspended for a year, was the first. But he is not necessarily the first to have registered a positive test. That’s because the tour is not required to suspend or announce any punishment for recreational drugs, a cutesy conceit that erroneously infers recreational drugs cannot also be performance enhancing.

Far be it from outsiders to suggest golf is learning from their colleagues in NFL, who one American observer this week contended “beats up on the Collegiate teams” to show they are testing in football but fail to front up to the professional franchises. The smart crew that golfers are should realise protecting the sport is like a player calling a foul on himself for causing his ball to rock fractionally in the middle of the forest; not an image issue, an imperative.

Vancouver Winter Olympic chief remembers his GAA roots

AS CHIEF executive officer for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympic Games, John Furlong has come a long way since his days in Ireland. The 59-year-old was born in Tipperary but moved with his family to Dublin, where his father was governor of Mountjoy prison.

Furlong was educated at St Vincent’s CBS where he played Gaelic football and basketball. He also played for St Vincent’s senior club basketball side before moving to Canada in 1974.

Heading the $2 billion operation to be held in Whistler next month, which was won in 2004, he has put a team of 50,000 people in place.

"As an organisation they have done a great job of building, especially when it comes to getting children involved. It has sustained itself for 125 years," he told Irish Connections Canadain a 2009 interview.

He wasn’t speaking of the IOC but the Gaelic Athletic Association.

United's cash crisis may have a more intriguing subplot

F I N A L S T R A W: A COMPANY called Manchester United went on sale for €913 million. An American family called the Glazers couldn't afford that amount. Not unlike during the property boom here, they used some of their own money and borrowed €607 million and made the purchase.

By June of last year the interest on the borrowed money was €366 million. But they didn't pay it all. Now they owe €789 million.

Last year they sold Ronaldo for €91 million and made an operating profit of €103 million. It's not enough. The Glazers, including dad Malcolm, right, say they are fixing it with a "bond prospectus". That's like a company brochure which describes what the company does, how much people enjoy its services, its amenities and future and how much it costs. But, you don't buy it. You invest money in it in the hope of getting a return. You bet on it.

The Glazer family are legally taking money from the club in large amounts to pay themselves in fees and to pay the interest on the huge loans. Meanwhile, Alex Ferguson will retire in 2011; there is a recession on; 16 per cent of the corporate boxes this season remain unsold; and for all their global branding Man U still rely on match-day ticket sales, which for top-end season packages have almost doubled in price since the Glazers took over.

The elephant in the room is Manchester City and their €17 billion owner, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan. Fourth in the Premier League to Man U's second place, this could develop into something more intriguing than an Old Trafford cash crisis.