The politest footballer of the year thus far? We’re going with Real Sociedad’s Alexander Sorloth, the Norwegian international who is on loan from RB Leipzig.
After an impressive January, during which his three goals helped Sociedad to third in La Liga, Sorloth was named player of the month.
The club brought him to a local supermarket in San Sebastián to collect his prize, the player possibly surprised when he was taken past the champagne section and led to a member of staff who presented him with, well, a fish. In a basket.
For still managing to smile and look grateful, we salute you, Alexander Sorloth.
Georgian Best
He was only 22 on Sunday, but by the sounds of Napoli’s Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, he has a wise head on youthful shoulders.
The Georgian winger only moved to Italy last summer, joining Napoli from Dinamo Batumi for around €10 million, which is roughly the value of his left ear lobe now thanks to the season the fellah is having, his form playing no small part in the club (seemingly) cruising towards the Serie A title.
He’s not getting carried away with all the plaudits though, not least that nickname of Kvaradona. “I don’t even want to think about [the comparison],” he said. “It’s not possible: Maradona is too big. My name is fine: Kvara.”
It was a few weeks back that he politely asked the Italian press to calm down a little, to stop comparing him to the greats. How’s that going? Well, after his performance in the 3-0 win over Spezia, when he scored one and made one, Tuttosport declared: “The beard, the slightly lowered socks ... he really does look like the new George Best.”
And Corriere dello Sport? “He is sun and air, he is water and light, a player with whom one is forced to fall in love.”
Get used to it, Kvaradona.
The end of the world
Exchange of the week? We’ll go with the one that took place between Hans Kraay, the former footballer and manager who now works in Dutch TV, and Jarrad Branthwaite, who is on loan at PSV Eindhoven from Everton, after Eindhoven’s cup game against FC Emmen last Wednesday.
Kraay: “You played at Carlisle United. I’ve been there once with Brighton. Then I phoned my mum and said ‘mum, I’m there’. She said ‘where?’, I said ‘I’m at the end of the bloody world!’ Is that the end of the bloody world, Carlisle? It’s a punishment to play there.”
Branthwaite: “For me, no – it’s my hometown, I was born there.”
Kraay: “It’s your hometown? Sorry about that.”
Awkward.
Number of the week: 8
That’s how many Premier League managers have been sacked this season, Nathan Jones the latest at Southampton. Job insecurity.
Word of Mouth
“If we are guilty we will go to the lower divisions like before, we will call Paul Dickov and Mike Summerbee.”
– After Manchester City were charged with over 100 breaches of the Premier League’s financial rules, Pep Guardiola starts planning for the seasons ahead.
“I enjoy a challenge, I want to be the best version of me. I could have stayed in a mining community, been a PE teacher and had a nice life, married a nice Welsh girl. I didn’t. I want to test myself on every level. And that’s nothing against Welsh women.”
– And then Nathan Jones was sacked by Southampton. And that was nothing against Welsh men.
“My father used to encourage me and my sister to watch lots of movies in English. I started to watch a lot of Friends with Portuguese subtitles, then I realised when I was 14 or 15 years old I was speaking English.”
– Nottingham Forest’s players now know why their new team-mate, Brazilian Gustavo Scarpa, sounds like Joey, Chandler and Ross.
“Gakpo’s dream move was Manchester United but they did not make a bid in January. I also wanted him to join United because they are better than Liverpool. The fact is Liverpool is 10 times smaller than Manchester United, in every department. Gakpo would have been scoring goals for United already.”
– You’d almost think Ruud van Nistelrooy had some connection to United.
