Soccer

All in the Game: Real Madrid star told to give moaning a rest

James Maddison’s alarming diet, and why young players may never get the benefit of Nicklas Bendter’s coaching insights

Aurélien Tchouaméni's complaint about players' workloads was the cue for one former France international to denounce the priorities of modern footballers. Photograph: Kenzo Tribouillard/AFP via Getty Images
Aurélien Tchouaméni's complaint about players' workloads was the cue for one former France international to denounce the priorities of modern footballers. Photograph: Kenzo Tribouillard/AFP via Getty Images
Mary Hannigan's picture
Mary Hannigan
Mon Oct 16 2023 - 06:00

You might have noticed quite a few players complaining recently about the packed nature of the football calendar, Real Madrid’s French midfielder Aurélien Tchouaméni among them.

“Obviously, we’re playing too many matches,” he said. “It’s leading to injuries. At some point, the players should do or say something, it’s up to them to bang their fists on the table.”

How sympathetic was former French international Jérôme Rothen?

“I usually defend players, but I’m going to lay into Tchouaméni. Just devote yourself to your job ... you are well paid for it! The guys are becoming gentrified: by dint of being an indisputable starter, there are peanut matches that you don’t want to play.”

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“The fatigue he talks about is more from outside the game. The invisible recovery they could be doing is important. Today they spend their lives on social media ... taking a jet to go see an MMA fight or shooting an ad in Turkey. Guys, take fewer gigs – devote yourself to your profession!”

Not a lot.

Word of mouth

“I called Luis Enrique in June. Luckily, he wanted to join PSG – look at PSG’s results now!” – Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis with a rather rude swipe at Enrique, whom he tried to persuade to become the club’s manager during the summer.

“If I’m honest, when they speak sometimes I say ‘huh?’” – Liverpool’s Ryan Gravenberch is struggling a touch with Scouse.

James Maddison in conversation with referee Stéphanie Frappart during England's friendly with Australia on Friday. Photograph: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images
James Maddison in conversation with referee Stéphanie Frappart during England's friendly with Australia on Friday. Photograph: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

“I love a big chippy. Fish, chips, sausage, curry sauce. Covered in salt and vinegar. Mouth watering a little bit at the thought of it. Sorry to the Spurs nutritionists if they’re watching.” – James Maddison reduces the club’s nutrition department to tears after revealing his post-match meal.

Dorking hell

Shared responsibility is, of course, important in sport, so when a team suffers an off-day, it’s best that, in the spirit of unity, all concerned take a share of the blame – the manager, coaching staff and players. Isn’t that right, Marc White?

His take on his Dorking Wanderers’ side’s defeat to Horsham in the fourth qualifying round of the FA Cup: “It’s not about availability, injuries, who was returning, who wasn’t. It was about the fact that that team let the fans down 100 per cent. Sometimes the management team take the blame, part blame, some blame, whatever. Today was wholeheartedly a bunch of players who were absolutely sh*t.”

Oh.

In words
Argentina's Lionel Messi in action against Paraguay, whose players are not pictured. Even if they were, Messi might not be able to identify them. Photograph: Alejandro Pagni/AFP via Getty Images
Argentina's Lionel Messi in action against Paraguay, whose players are not pictured. Even if they were, Messi might not be able to identify them. Photograph: Alejandro Pagni/AFP via Getty Images

“They told me that someone spat at me, but I didn’t see it. The truth is, I don’t even know who this boy is.” – Lionel Messi with a sizzler of a burn after Paraguay’s Antonio Sanabria allegedly expectorated in his direction.

In numbers

27.8 – Stephen Kenny’s win percentage as Irish manager. Things can only get better, can’t they?

[ Ken Early: Trash talk gives way to rubbish display as Ireland stink out the Aviva ]

More word of mouth

“Accepting would mean that I would have to work from seven in the morning to four in the afternoon and no longer have a weekend off.” – The now retired Nicklas Bendtner explaining why he’s turned down coaching offers – the grind would be way too much.

Ollie Watkins scores for England against Australia at Wembley on Friday, during a rare venture out of his house. Photograph: Nick Potts/PA Wire
Ollie Watkins scores for England against Australia at Wembley on Friday, during a rare venture out of his house. Photograph: Nick Potts/PA Wire

“I used to shop in Sainsbury’s but when I came to Villa people would take two looks and go, ‘is that him?’. Two or three would ask for a photo, so then it’s hard to do the shopping ... I was fuming. I said to my missus, I’m never going out again. And since then I don’t do the shopping.” – Ollie Watkins on the price of celebrity. And now Mrs Watkins is paying that price, having to do the shopping every bloody week.

“When Huddersfield told me they wanted to go with someone else, I thought to myself, ‘well, at least it’s a good week to get sacked’. There was the Ryder Cup, the Rugby World Cup, the Cricket World Cup all coming up on the telly, so I settled on the sofa with some crisps and nuts and put my feet up.” – Neil Warnock on the upside of being let go by Huddersfield last month.

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