Least romantic football fans of the year so far? We’re going for the West Brom faithful who looked on at Carrow Road as Norwich City diehard Jack Garwood proposed to his girlfriend Brandis on the pitch at half-time in their Championship game.
“Brandis, I know you’re not expecting this,” said Jack into the microphone that blasted his proposal around the ground. “But from the very moment I met you, I knew you were the one for me. So Brandis, will you marry me?” She said yes. Your heart would melt.
What did the West Brom fans chant? “You don’t know what you’re doing!” Their team lost 1-0. Just desserts.
Quote
“My mum called me and asked ‘what did you do?!’ She was making out that I was a criminal and a delinquent.” Not only is Marseille manager Roberto De Zerbi losing the dressingroom, with his players fed up with his “uncompromising” methods, he’s losing his ma’s faith too.
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By the Numbers: 138.79
That’s how many million euro Real Madrid received for winning last season’s Champions League, according to Uefa’s newly published financial report. (Just the €137.41m more than Barcelona’s women received for achieving the same feat).
Word of Mouth
“I have only one superstition: I play every game in the same boxer shorts. Eight years the same boxers.” Manchester City goalkeeper Ederson sharing way too much information.
“I wish I’d have left Burnley club £127 million in debt and then got the Bayern job. Anyways, there’s an interesting twist of life.” Sean Dyche a touch befuddled by Vincent Kompany getting the Bayern Munich gig last year.
“I never ate them at home. They’re just red water. Here, I eat them as a snack. They’re so fresh, they’re incredible.” Scott McTominay on discovering tasty tomatoes in Italy.
“Football’s going to be refereed by AI soon. We might as well dispense with the players when some genius comes up with a game with no participants.” A peeved Ange Postecoglou risking Spurs fans suggesting that his team is already playing with no participants.
Bulgarian fan’s stiff drink
It was about a fortnight ago that Bulgarian club Arda Kardzhali held a sombre minute’s silence before a league game for their former player Petko Ganchev after they received word that he had departed this world. Only he hadn’t. Happily, the 78-year-old was very much alive and exceedingly well. The club apologised profusely, saying they had “received wrong information about his death”.
As part of their efforts to make it up to him, Arda invited Ganchev to be their guest of honour at their game against Cherno More last week, Cherno dying a death in a 4-0 defeat. Petko has forgiven the hiccup, even if he’ll never quite forget it. “When I heard the terrible news, I poured myself a small brandy,” he said. “Being buried alive is quite stressful, really.”
Time for a goalmouth scramble?
The saddest looking man of thematch of the entire season? Jan de Boer. That was partly down to his Bryne FK side losing 1-0 to Bodo/Glimt in Bryne’s first Norwegian top-flight game since 2003, having won promotion last season. But it might also have been due to his prize for being the game’s outstanding player: 120 eggs.
“De Boer admits that 120 was a little too much,” reported Norwegian station TV2 while showing the goalkeeper making the eggiest omelettes known to man. “I live here alone so it will be completely impossible to eat 120 eggs,” he told them, trying hard not to sound ungrateful.
Given the egg shortage in the United States this weather, De Boer should probably consider exporting them. Mind you, that 15 per cent tariff won’t help him shift them.
