Angriest Coat-Related Exchange of the Season
We’ll go with the one Burnley boss Sean Dyche chatted about when he turned up on talkSPORT last week. While he would neither confirm nor deny the exact words used in his run-in with Aston Villa’s John McGinn during the teams’ meeting back in December, his chuckle suggested that talkSport were close enough to being spot on.
Dyche: “So you’ve been in the Premier League for one season and you think you’re proper big time, telling me to ‘shut up?’.
McGinn: “You’ve been in the Premier League for six seasons and you’re still wearing the same shit coat, you big p***k.”
The only part of the exchange that actually offended Dyche was the reference to his coat. “It’s a very nice coat, I’ll have him know. And I haven’t had it for six years, I’ve had it for about two.”
Quote of the week
"He's the most talented player I've ever seen..... he's Messi with a right foot." - Aston Villa goalie Emiliano Martinez trying to damp down the fuss about his team-mate Jack Grealish.
Number of the week
2,871 - That's how many days it had been since Burnley's Matt Lowton scored before his goal against Crystal Palace on Saturday. "The lads said VAR wasn't checking for off-side, they were checking that it actually happened."
Second-rate club
There’s been plenty of chat about the form of Brazilian winger Raphinha since he joined Leeds from Rennes last October, so impressive has he been his £17m fee is now being hailed as the ‘steal of the season’. He hardly has his feet under the table at Elland Road and already he’s being ‘linked’ with moves to mega clubs, Goal .com, for example, reckoning he could be bound for Liverpool during the summer.
This, they reminded us, might not go down well with a Rennes fan by the name of Rital who wasn’t overly impressed with Raphinha leaving the club for England only a year after joining from Sporting Lisbon. His rant was, well, quite spectacular.
“Raphinha can play in the Champions League and have visibility at European level, but instead of staying at Rennes, which offers a great sporting challenge, he prefers to go and play for a second-rate club in England without a European Cup. Go **** your mothers in your fish and chips country.”
Word of mouth
"Oh my days. I asked to leave the room because he sounded like a motorbike. They let me move and share rooms with Salomon Kalou. And he was like, 'Bro, I know. I moved myself'". Wilfried Zaha revealing that his Ivory Coast team-mate Nicolas Pepe is the loudest snorer in world football.
"The next game is coming up and that's good so he can play his normal level again and then everything will be fine." Jurgen Klopp insisting that Alisson would recover from his two bloopers against Manchester City and be his usual self against Leicester. Uh oh.
"How many millions is Tottenham losing per month? We have to make money so we go to a final, try to sell some pins, some shirts, key-rings, anything. If you can make money selling anything, just make money." Jose Mourinho defending Spurs selling a range of merchandise which celebrates them winning ..... no ..... reaching the Carabao Cup final. Arsenal fans are sore from the laughing.
"Yes, Man United are bigger. Yes, Liverpool are bigger, but they're only bigger because they've won things." Kevin Keegan arguing that Newcastle would be as big as United and Liverpool if they actually won things. Well, yeah.
"Maurizio is a living oxymoron. He manages to combine extremely refined intelligence with moments of total gut instinct. I'd define him as a conceptual extremist." Udinese coach Luca Gotti on Maurizio Sarri, for whom he was assistant manager at Chelsea. We don't understand it either, but it probably just means he's a good gaffer.
Last Week’s Best Trip Down Memory Lane
We’ll go with Daniel Amokachi reminiscing with the Daily Mail about his time at Everton, notably his contribution to their 1995 FA Cup semi-final victory over Spurs.
The Nigerian was sitting on the bench that day and there was no sign of manager Joe Royle bringing him on. So, he decided to take matters in to his own hands.
“I told Jimmy Gabriel, who was in charge of subs, that the gaffer had said I was to go on. Jimmy gave the paper to the fourth official and I ran on the pitch. I turned just as the gaffer was running towards the sideline shouting ‘what the hell are you doing?’ Poor Jimmy was left to explain.”
Royle later described it as the best substitution he never made, Amokachi scoring twice in a 4-1 win. “Well done Daniel,’ he said to the player after the game, “but if you ever try that shit again and you’ll be finished.”
Amokachi, need it be said, has no regrets. “The gaffer wasn’t happy but hey, it was God’s way. I was in the best shape of my life, a damn sexy footballer and I knew I was ready.”
