Well, isn't life just grand? You know, if Liveline had a poll today on replacing Amhrán na bhFiann with 'Super Jonny Walters', it might be the first 100-0 result in their history. Unless our Bosnian visitors vote early and often before heading home. As it was, 2-0 did us perfectly fine, and it's France here we allez next summer. Lovely.
Mind you, when George Hamilton tempted fate more often in those closing 20 minutes than Emir Spahic should have had yellow cards, the nation's tummies knotted, but we survived.
The panel didn’t really see it coming, the mood pre-match a little gloomy.
Team news. John Giles and Jon Walters back in the starting line-ups, Richie Sadlier and Stephen Ward rested, and we knew by Liam Brady's even more morose than usual expression, Wessi Hoolahan had survived – so he'd lost his bet with Dunphy.
Still Dunphy was downbeat, reckoning it was "wrong team to pick for the job at hand" and his Wessi probably wouldn't even see the ball because Glenn Whelan and James McCarthy are muck and a fretting Gilesie half agreed with him while Liam was just looking sad about his lost tenner.
Avoid humiliation
By 10 past seven you half wondered if we should we take to the pitch at all, instead conceding the game just to avoid humiliation.
Not much positivity, then, but over on Sky, Packie Bonner and Niall Quinn were overflowing with it, Niall all but recommending places to stay in France next summer. "It's all set up lovely for them," he beamed.
That was uplifting, then, but still, you could feel the tension, Robbie Keane exchanging strong words with a B&H person out on the pitch about them hitting balls in to the Irish end during the warm-up and back inside Martin O'Neill was having words with Tony O'Donoghue about the danger/no-danger of sitting back on a 1-1. By now you suspect if Tony said to Martin, 'hello', Martin would say: 'Excuse me? What do you mean by that?'
Any way, enough of the talking, it was time to brave the battle. First half. Very nice, Brady and Jimi Hendrix (who Eamo seems to think we have in midfield) doing lovely linky things on the left. And then: Penalty! Handball! Hmm, harsh?
(On BBC Radio, Mark Lawrenson had sympathy for the defender, "there was nothing he could do – other than put his hand down his pants." That, surely, would result in a penalty too?).
Perhaps there was just a pre-match memo from Uefa to the ref, anything that looks remotely like a handball, give it to them – otherwise we’ll never hear the end of it. Instead, you wondered if it’d be B&H demanding to be the 25th team in Euro 2016.
Any way, the deity that is Walters converted rather handsomely and George lost the run of himself.
“Ireland lead on aggregate by two goals to nil!!!!!”
(It could be, of course, that he didn’t see B&H score in Zenica, what with the fog)
Silence.
George: “To one.”
A shaky end to the half, though, B&H rallying, leaving George shredded. “It’s better to be 1-0 up than 1-0 down,” he concluded as the whistle blew, a point with which few would argue.
Half-time. Darragh spoke for the nation: “My nerves are shot.” But the panel was all jaunty, Gilesie finding his inner Niall Quinn. “If we get another one we’ll stroll home,” he said, almost singing it.
Second half. A long one, too. Spahic tried to get sent off again, but the ref was having none of it. And then, as George put it:
“GOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!” The Super lad, of course.
“Surely, SURELY this is going to be a night to remember in the Aviva,” said George, at which point a nation said: ‘SHUT UP!”
But then he did a complete U-turn and started trying to frighten the bejaysus out us. “Let’s not forget, two for would be sufficient for Bosnia on away goals if Ireland didn’t score any more.”
Ah gawd.
Those finally moments? Taxing. "The clock seems to have slowed down," said George. "I think it's stopped," said Ronnie Whelan. Crossbar hit. Jesus. Tick, tick, tick . . . .. home and hosed!
Martin and Roy man-hugging, half the stadium weeping, Dunphy too.
Gorgeous.
Amhrán na Jonny, it is.
