ON SOCCER:The Newcastle situation would be funny except two of our best players are caught up in it
UNTIL RECENTLY I had laboured under the misapprehension that Newcastle United would never be associated with anything more comical than the time one of the club's then highly rated English stars missed a league game because he'd taken some Viagra the night before while engaged, one presumes, in some sort of alcohol-fuelled jape.
It was, according to the (possibly enhanced) legend, an unpleasant day at the office for the club masseur but despite his best efforts the player, who "earned" well in excess of €65,000 per week, could not be rendered fit to play.
The story was just one of many of a ridiculous nature that would be exchanged by journalists when Newcastle came up in conversation over the last few years.
In the grand scheme of things, though, it was not that big a deal. After all, it involved just one player missing a single game.
Even before J** K*****r's spectacular encounter with the press last week, the prevailing sense of mayhem around the club made problems of that scale seem small beer.
As long as you don't actually support the club, the easiest thing in the world is just to sit back and enjoy the entire, apparently never-ending, fiasco that is Newcastle United.
The club's fate, though, is of importance in Ireland because two of the national team's most talented players, perhaps the two most talented, ply their trade there.
And if there's any truth in the generally accepted theory that doing things professionally off the pitch helps get the best out of your team on it, the confusion at St James' Park cannot be good for either Shay Given or Damien Duff.
A group of us asked Given about the already disastrous state of affairs immediately after the recent Georgia game and he was philosophical about it all.
Deep down, though, the 32-year-old must be dismayed to be playing for his eighth manager (if you throw in the other caretakers you get into double figures) at a club that has made an art form of chaotic underachievement.
Clearly, he has his own reasons for having stayed put when he must have had many opportunities to move on.
But if there was any truth in the reports from London over the summer that Arsenal were interested in signing him, his attachment to the north-east of England would have to be strong for him not to now feel some regret over the missed opportunity.
Incredibly, Given was being criticised by some commentators here last week after he questioned, with what seemed admirable restraint, the most recent turns of events.
But his form has somehow remained good and, hard as it is to believe after a glance at the league table, Newcastle's current plight would be worse were it not for the Donegal man.
Similarly, Duff's contribution on Sunday earned them a point at Everton after they had seemed firmly on course for a fifth consecutive defeat.
Like Given, Duff has had more than his share of injury problems over the last year or so, but unlike his Ireland team-mate, the former Chelsea and Blackburn winger does not have a serious amount of credit to fall back on with the Newcastle supporters.
Duff, who looked for much of his time at Stamford Bridge comfortably the equal of Joe Cole but now lags well behind in terms of status within the Premier League, finds himself in the position of having to prove his worth all over again at St James' Park.
If he can stay fit and the return from injury of others allows him to play in his best position he stands a good chance - but his prospects of hitting his best form again would probably be enhanced too by the instalment of a permanent manager who shares Kevin Keegan's devotion to the attacking game.
The Dubliner's goal at the weekend was his first in the league for a couple of years and there have been several reminders in his general play over the last few weeks that he is regaining his former prowess.
We have not, however, yet seen him terrorise a full back in the way he once did routinely.
Given the wing is clearly where Giovanni Trapattoni intends to use him, it would be good to see him reverting to the role for United, but the Italian should also play his part in allowing Duff to settle back into doing what he does best.
The ease with which the Serbs contained him when he played out on the right at Croke Park at the start of the summer strongly suggested the difficulties caused to opponents by the repeated switching of sides by the Ireland wingers is more than cancelled out by the reduced threat they generated while effectively playing out of position.
Trapattoni's tactical approach with Ireland places much emphasis on the role of his wingers but in the team's opening two qualifiers the players used in the roles have provided little by way of attacking return.
Aiden McGeady's cross early on for the goal against Georgia appeared to promise much but there has barely been another of similar quality since.
And Stephen Hunt's value has much more to do with his industry than the incisiveness of his delivery either from play or, during the two games at least, his rather erratic set-pieces.
Duff's ability to get to the line and cross the ball, if he can rediscover it, would prove a major boost in the campaign's home games.
And even the threat of him doing it will help him win the sort of steady supply of free kicks that previously proved so important to Ireland's fortunes.
Kinnear may not have done much to establish a rapport with a perpetually bemused local press corps but Sunday's performance at Everton certainly suggested he still knows a bit about organising a team and the former Ireland international know all about Duff's range of talents.
Newcastle, like Ireland, could do with them being fully exploited.