PlanetFootball: Congratulations to Giraldo Zuluaga for winning his seven-year battle to legally change his name to Deportivo Independiente Medellin, his beloved Colombian team.
"Now people can call me Deportivo, Independiente or even just Medellin," he declared, triumphantly. It was, we felt, a little cruel of Yahoo News to point out that Giraldo's new initials spell: DIM.
Quotes of the week
"I know what my strengths are, and I know what my not strengths are."
- Watford manager Adrian Boothroyd - does he not sound a bit like one of his predecessors: Graham Taylor?
"It is totally unfair to compare him with Wayne . . . even if there was just a moment when you said 'could he be the next one?'"
- Everton chairman Bill Kenwright, refusing to compare 16-year-old wonderkid James Vaughan to Rooney, before kind of doing just that.
"The great thing, though, when you see someone like Wayne come through at a club, is to know that such huge talents are still out there if you look hard enough."
- Everton chairman Bill Kenwright, still refusing to label Vaughan (his new Rooney), "the new Rooney".
"They have a German mentality."
- Chelsea's Mikael Forssell on Bayern Munich. Well, they would, wouldn't they?
"How many chances should a player get? You can bring a horse to water but you cannot make it drink."
- Roy Keane. Those of you who alleged he was talking specifically about Ruud van Nistelrooy should be ashamed.
Rooney primed for Number 10
If the laws were changed in Britain and only 13-year-olds could vote in the impending general election guess who'd be the next prime minister? Yep, Wayne Rooney. The Cartoon Network, according to Reuters, asked 1,000 of the channel's 13-year-old viewers who they'd like to see in Number 10 and 15 per cent opted for Rooney, giving him a three-per-cent victory over, eh, Harry Potter.
Asked what issues they would want Prime Minister Rooney to urgently address they replied "bullying, school dinners and the recent break-up of boy band Busted". Bless.
Fowler's full house
Why do Manchester City supporters sing, to the tune of Yellow Submarine, "we all live in a Robbie Fowler house"? Well, because they probably do. At the last count Fowler owned almost 100 properties around Britain, including over 20 in Oldham (nine on one road) and a hotel in Scotland - so much so before his 30th birthday earlier this month he was Britain's richest sportsman under the age of 30. So, not only is Fowler City's top scorer this season he's very probably most of the supporters' landlord too.
More quotes of the week
"The number of games I've played in six years at Arsenal is pretty poor. I don't know whether it's because I'm English . . ."
- Jermaine Pennant, who before being jailed recently was rarely out of trouble.
"Carragher should have humped that. He's humped everything else from behind all night."
- Jim Beglin on RTÉ, as heard by Football 365. And we'll leave it there.
"I've always found that Stuart Pearce has had to do it the hard way."
- Eh, Stuart Pearce.
"I'm like the Major in Fawlty Towers. I come down in the morning and it's like, 'Papers arrived yet, Fawlty?' Nearly four years in the same hotel! It's hard to get your head round, isn't it? People look at me like I'm an idiot."
- Pearce, evidently beginning to lose it at Manchester City.
"Chelsea have not won the league yet, have they? So I don't think you can say Chelsea are the best team. Of course I would say Chelsea are in the top three. But I wouldn't say they're the best. Even if they win the league this year I still wouldn't say they are the best."
- Ashley Cole shows his humorous side while talking about his (alleged) next employers.
Court misjudges poor Effenberg
We felt for Stefan Effenberg last week when his appeal against a fine of almost €100,000 was thrown out by a Lower Saxony court. The former German international, famous for giving his own fans the two fingers and for calling Germany's unemployed "lazy", was found guilty of making abusive remarks to a policeman, allegedly calling him an "asshole" when he stopped him for speeding back in 2003. Effenberg insisted that he told the policeman to "have a nice evening", adding, "you know me - if I had said 'asshole', I would stand by it". He would too. A miscarriage of justice, then.
Juve fans hit where it hurts
Nice to see the warm greeting that awaited Liverpool in Turin last week. Our commiserations to Mrs Prince of Wales.
Even more quotes of the week
"Another deflected goal from Chelsea - they were not better than us, they were just more fortunate.
- Bayern Munich manager Felix Magath, admirably magnanimous in defeat.
"I hope I will be here next season, it's a great club and obviously I still have a contract here. I want to carry on at this club for as long as possible."
- Kleberson insists he's staying. Just when Manchester United fans thought things couldn't get much worse.
"I like the Premiership, it was a great two-and-a-half years in England and, of course, I would like to go back, the door is always open so you never know."
- Diego Forlan insists he wants to come back. Just when Manchester United fans thought things couldn't get much worse.
"A lot of people phoned to wish me a speedy recovery and I thank them all. I have spoken to Cantona, Thuram, Henry, Vieira. Even some people who I don't know and who I have not heard of before, people like Dion Dublin."
- Liverpool's Djibril Cisse. Poor Dion.
Dunphy makes the wrong call
A listener to Eamon Dunphy's radio show on Dublin local station Newstalk 106 won a €250 bet last week and, when asked what sporting outcome she'd like to put her free wager on, opted for Manchester United winning their FA Cup semi-final by three goals or more. The odds, from internet bookie BetFred, were . . . 12-1.
Result? Manchester United 4, Newcastle United 1. Wey hey, she scooped herself €3,000! Well, no, she didn't. She changed her mind on the bet after accepting Dunphy's advice on the matter, which ran along the lines of: FA Cup semi-finals are always tight affairs, rarely won by more than a goal - so go for United beating Newcastle by just the goal. Result? When Cristiano Ronaldo made it 4-1 yesterday the woman in question . . . well, she probably spent the evening sitting in a darkened room, as chuffed about the outcome as Graeme Souness. And Eamon Dunphy.
