Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: Honor’s like, ‘Dad, can I leave school?’ I’m there ‘I don’t see why not’

‘They talk about the Collison brothers, but those chaps have got nothing on you, Honor’

‘I’m not posting bail for Conor McGregor. That focker can use his own money’

Ross O’Carroll Kelly: Ronan wants to go to New York and hab a woord with his heerdo

‘Wait until you’re 15 to drink, like all South Dublin girls’

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: I see a photograph of a stripper and a hand offering her $20

‘Mixed mortial orts? For the first time in my life, I suddenly feel like I’ve failed as a father’