Two symphonies of Government spending premiered in the Dáil on Tuesday: Jack’s First and Paschal’s Ninth.
Big and blowsy compositions with a few demure movements thrown in for the sake of appearances.
The Bling Cycle is the final two works in the Government’s five-year budget canon. It was shamelessly written to lift electoral spirits, and even if it assailed the eardrums of sensitive listeners in the Opposition seats, that didn’t matter.
The outgoing Coalition was playing to a different gallery. As it will do in the many repeat performances to come until the general election is over.
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You know the score.
Everyone in the Dáil chamber on Budget Day certainly did.
Budget 2025 had two main conductors – the Fianna Fáil Minister for Finance, Jack Chambers and the Fine Gael Minister for Public Expenditure, Paschal Donohoe.
This was a huge day for young Chambers of Commerce and his family. When the last budget statement was delivered, he was a lowly minister of state with a high chair at cabinet and his party colleague, Michael McGrath, was well ensconced as the senior minister in finance.
Then McGrath got the nod for the big job in Brussels and party leader Micheál Martin, in a shock decision, appointed his former chief whip, who had no experience as a senior minister, to head one of the most important departments in Government.
There were so many Chambers in the chamber to witness his big moment that a large overflow of extended family and friends packed one side of the visitors’ gallery, smiling and waving down at his immediate family in the distinguished visitors’ gallery.
We overheard two onlookers discussing the first-time Minister.
“He looks very young. How old is he?”
“Turty tree and two turds.”
In years gone by, that might have seemed very young. But not now, not when the first time Taoiseach was sitting nearby. Simon Harris will be turty eight in a couple of weeks.
Jack and Paschal arrived together, their progress up the ceremonial staircase to the Dáil chamber videoed by the Oireachtas Channel.
“In my many years serving as a finance minister for our country, I have led our finances from deficit to surplus. Twice,” he declared, not boasting or anything.
It was very showbiz.
Chambers of Commerce had an old budget hand by his side.
Paschal Been-There-Donahoed-That was ambling into his ninth budget. A fact he modestly reminded the audience of when delivering his half of the nation’s annual financial statement.
“Today’s Budget is my first,” said Jack at the outset “and it is also unique in the opportunity it presents to plan, transform and deliver for the future”.
Of the next government.
Over to Paschal, who was also concerned with his record.
“In my many years serving as a finance minister for our country, I have led our finances from deficit to surplus. Twice,” he declared, not boasting or anything.
To paraphrase Lady Bracknell, “to have to lead a country from deficit to surplus may be regarded as a misfortune; to have to do it a second time looks like carelessness”.
Paschal explained the “twice” part a little bit when outlining all the great things his healthy public finances allowed him to do and “all the while dealing with the crises of a pandemic, a war in Europe and then soaring inflation”.
Beat that, Jack.
In both speeches, the billions kept piling up. The Minister for Finance mentioned it nearly 20 times in his contribution while the Minister for Public Expenditure stopped just shy of 30 mentions. And the millions were shovelled out at the same rate as Government backbenchers rushing out their budget benefits leaflets.
This is not to say that the Ministers are not proceeding with extreme caution.
With the danger of unpreventable “external shocks” ever-present, Jack said his budget is designed to “strike the right balance” between ensuring supports for families, workers and businesses while investing in providing public services and infrastructure for the future.
His more experienced colleague couldn’t agree more.
Money has to be set aside for a rainy day and surpluses must be maintained, he stressed. It’s why recent fiscal gains must be invested in tomorrow’s Ireland.
“Not spending everything today, no matter how tempting.”
That raised a few hollow laughs across the floor and more than a few wry smiles on the Government side.
Even so, Chambers of Commerce Jack and Been-there-Donahoed-that Paschal cheerily served up a belly buster budget buffet for the voters.
Speaking of which, with a 1pm kick-off, this wasn’t a budget for the men and women who have their dinner in the middle of the day.
Julie in the canteen put on a Christmassy turkey and ham and all the trimmings option for those diners with the budget blues – it’s an annual treat now. But aside from a few glum-looking Opposition members, there wasn’t too much gnashing of teeth over the croquettes and stuffing.
Timing is everything and inexperienced Jack landed on his feet with his first budget. He must rank as one of the most fortunate ministers for finance ever, asked to come up with a budget and handed an eye-watering budget to get it done.
He could give tax credits here, reductions there, benefits extended, schemes continued, increasing this, expanding that. Not to mention the once off once offs – the gifts which keep on giving and that handsome baby bonus for newborns.
He read his statement in a dull monotone while spreading the largesse. Cheer up Jack, you’re dishing out the dosh! There was even good news for the makers of strawberry and elderberry wine.
The Minister for Public Expenditure was more relaxed.
He talked about ditching the cautionary “5 per cent anchor” on spending because it was “simply inappropriate”.
And his Government, with this budget, has weighed anchor on the 33rd Dáil.
This wasn’t his first rodeo. Paschal’s ninth was a doddle, although in the classical music world, they talk about the curse of the ninth symphony.
Will he be back for a tenth?
The Government backbenchers think it’s a good bet. As soon as was decently possible (when Pearse Doherty stood up to reply on behalf of Sinn Féin) they bolted for the doors.
Those leaflets and videos won’t make themselves.
Pearse had a hard job to do – selling his party’s alternative budget and attacking the Coalition for its bonanza budget while not dismissing the myriad breaks given to hard-pressed voters.
He concentrated on the Government’s housing record.
“This isn’t a giveaway budget, this is a giving up on housing budget,” he said. Despite promising loads of money “we still feel poor in so many ways”.
It was a financial statement with “no vision” and it is merely “papering over the cracks” of the Government’s “standstill spending” on major issues.
But it was the current saga of the expensive bike shed and security hut and the overspending on the new national children’s hospital and modular homes for Ukrainians which formed the spearhead of Sinn Féin’s contributions.
Apart from the hospital, the cost of the other three is hardly a drop in the Government’s cash ocean, but like the baby bonus and the end of the motor tax levy and the free travel for anyone travelling with a person over 70, it’s a good line to combat this popular catch-all budget.
The Taoiseach and Tánaiste heckled Pearse as he spoke. They didn’t like him critiquing their symphony of spending and accusing them of being more interested in spin than people’s lives.
Simon Harris muttered a particularly off-colour response to Sinn Féin’s finance spokesman, asking “how’s your press office doing?” then muttering something about protecting children in the workplace – a pointed reference to an ongoing criminal court case involving a former senior press officer with the party.
His Government is very pleased with its pre-election, re-election, self-protection budget.
The general election starts here.