Here’s a small sample of some of the gags...
History was never Ross O’Carroll-Kelly’s strongest subject at school. He thought the IRB was the IRA’s second team.
Football pundit Brian Kerr remembers a friend offering George Best a lift in a beat-up old Datsun. When Best saw the car, he said: “I’ve been picked up from better looking ashtrays.”
Diarmuid Gavin plants his veg in alphabetical order. Where does he find the thyme? It’s right next to the sage.
Breaking news... Heinz’s Italian wing has been put into minestrone.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
Donald Trump: “Well Vlad, in a word, how’s Russia?” “Good”, Putin says. “And in more than one word?” Trump asks. “Not good,” Putin replies.
Roy Keane should do the Camino. He’s well used to walking.
Wally has been found. His funeral will be held soon but no one knows where exactly. It’s how he would have wanted it.
Catwoman boarded a Ryanair flight and held a gun to the pilot’s head, demanding: “Take me to the Canaries.”
Boris Johnson was outmanoeuvred by Michael Gove, which is the equivalent of being knocked down by your own golf buggy.
Pádraig Lynch now chairs the Anti-Nepotism League, a noble body founded in the 1920s by his grand-uncle.
The three ages of men: youth, middle age and “my word, you look well”.
What did the mother buffalo say to her son as he was leaving home? "Bison"
Heard It Say by Michael Cullen is published by Gregmar Books, at €9.95 – 104 pages of one-liners and celebrity quotes, illustrated with original cartoons by ad agency creative Aidan Dowling. Cullen is editor of Marketing.ie, Ireland's marketing and media monthly and website. He is a regular contributor to Ireland's national media. As proof that he has a sense of humour, he is a proud Gooner, which means he has been cheering on Arsenal for almost half a century. His firrst and only other joke book was Ash, Sure What Of It, which was published by Gregmar Books in 2010
