I live with a fully-fledged vegan. And, yes, she’s used to the jibes. How can you tell if someone’s vegan? Because they’ll tell you … again, and again, and again.
It wasn’t always so. As the offspring of a food writer, she displayed “exhibit-number-one” potential from an early age, packing Cashel Blue cheese into her pink Barbie lunch box instead of the customary cheese strings. She soon learnt that eating stinky cheese is not the way to make friends, but retained her adventurous, eat-everything palate. Ultimately, like an increasing number of Gen Zers, concerns about climate change and animal welfare propelled her in the direction of what some view as the vegan high ground.
It’s dangerous territory, the high ground and who gets to own it, not helped by what academics describe as “the vegan paradox”. On the one hand omnivores view vegans as good and morally committed because they care for animals, but on the other hand they dismiss their arguments and defend their own dietary preferences by negatively stereotyping vegans as arrogantly overcommitted.
It is unlikely that anyone is battling for the higher ground on Crane Lane, a narrow, cobbled stretch in Temple Bar, Dublin 2, festooned with year-round Christmas decorations. It's too early for patrons of the Emporium Lap Dancing Casino, but just ticking the hour for lunch in The Saucy Cow, the bricks and mortar evolution of Roisin Lawlor's vegan food stall. It's where vegans go to have fun. To enjoy the dribbling pleasure of sauce-laden fast food, which has become so popular with vegans in New York.
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Murals
I arrive with our resident vegan, who is already an established regular, and sit at one of the Ikea wooden tables that were relentlessly hunted down in Barcelona when availability dried up in Dublin.
It's an industrial room, dominated by a Robyn Carey mural. A black grill divides up the space unobtrusively, purple and orange chairs add splashes of colour, and a DJ booth has all the promise of an even livelier vibe in the evening. There is a newly-built accessible bathroom where there is another Carey mural.
The menu is divided into the familiar territory of burgers, wraps, loaded fries and sides, the big difference being protein substitutes. The popcorn chick bites (€6.50), seitan “chicken” in deep-fried breadcrumbs are an unexciting start, but I see that they have since been replaced on the menu with oyster mushroom chick bites which sound considerably more appetising.
But the big test, I reckon, will be the burgers, so I dive into the Buckfast BBQ (€15), which my daughter says is by far the best vegan burger in town. It’s a construction of fried onion rings, deep fried jalapenos and Baby Gem lettuce, adding crunch to the smashed Beyond Meat burger inside a toasted sesame seed bun.
Doused in Lawlor’s homemade Buckfast barbecue sauce, there is plenty of flavour going on, and while the burger does in some ways mimic the texture of a beef burger, I’m finding it hard to have a moment of true love with this bite of the sustainable future.
Chicken wings
The hot papi fries (€11.50) will appeal to fans of those famous chicken wings with lashings of Frank’s hot sauce and garlic mayo lacing across a bed of waffle fries, loaded with deep fried oyster mushrooms, shredded lettuce and diced pickles. They are eat-with-a-fork messy and it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to finish them – it’s most definitely a serving for sharing.
As a lighter lunch alternative we also try a Caesar wrap (€9), Caesar dressing being one of those sauces that is hard to get right for vegans. Again it is homemade, adding much-needed flavour to seitan “chicken”, vegan Parmesan and crunchy lettuce. From the short drinks list we have a Coke (€2) and a Zingibeer (€6), an Irish alcoholic ginger beer which is getting quite a bit of love around town.
This is a joyful space where the emphasis is on fun and saucy flavours. The temptation is to finger point and allude to the need for the metabolism of a 16-year-old. But that would be to miss the point. This is fast food made by vegans for vegans. It makes no attempt to be healthy and revels in the unashamed glory of being what it is. It may not hit all the right notes for carnivores, but for vegans it is a veritable treat.
Lunch for two with a beer and a Coke was €50.
THE VERDICT: 7.5/10. Fast food for vegans with lashings of sauce
Facilities: Functional and clean with a particularly smart accessible toilet
Music: Vibey music from CamelPhat to Polo & Pan
Food provenance: Not a strong point, from Musgraves, Sysco and Caterway
Vegetarian options: Everything is vegan, which may be a little too limiting for vegetarians who enjoy dairy
Wheelchair access: Room is accessible with an accessible toilet
